10 Tem Prada In New York City Wgcwr
Lily-Livered Surrender; and Hot Paprika 5
THE DISRESPECT AND OUTRIGHT ABUSE CAMPAIGN
In the rare moments at secondary school during which our head wasn’t being thrust down a flushing toilet, the Fiver noticed something odd: that people were invariably rude to the people they liked, or fancied, or wanted to bone-jump. It’s called flirting, or some such. But we hope it doesn’t apply in adult life – because if it does, Lord Ferg must have an almighty crush on referees.
Ferguson, founder of the Disrespect and Outright Abuse Campaign, laid into yet another official, this time Andre Marriner, after Manchester United’s deserved loss at Anfield. His criticism centred around two decisions involving Jamie Carragher that were about as clear-cut as a Jackson Pollock painting. In fact he only just stopped short of blaming Marriner for the selection of Paul Scholes and Michael Carrick, a midfield pairing that reached its sell-by date in 2007.
“It is a very difficult atmosphere here. I think it affected our players and it affected the referee,” said Ferguson, making his head nice and comfortable under the sand. “There were so many controversial things that happened we have to feel aggrieved at some of them.” Of more relevance, surely, is the fact that Authentic Prada Handbags Outlet Online this maintained United’s diabolical record in Big Four clashes away from home. Going back to the start of the Are Prada Trainers Made In Vietnam 2005-06 season, their record is P13 W2 D5 L6 F9 A15. There have been so many lily-livered surrenders that fans have to feel aggrieved at some of them.
“Liverpool were the better team and I am not taking anything away from them at all,” added Ferguson, having spent the previous minutes doing just that. “They deserved to win the game as it was a disappointing performance from us. We were not good enough.” That’s about the only thing he got right all day.
*********************
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Well, Halloween’s coming up and I was thinking of Wolverine. It’s not anything to do with any play-off ritual – I’m just lazy and can’t be bothered to shave. And everybody keeps telling me to cut it and I’m stubborn” – David Beckham tells American reporters that his reasons for keeping his beard have nothing to do with the fact that he no longer has a contract to hawk a leading brand of razor-blades.
*********************
PANIC ON THE STREETS OF HUMBERSIDE
When he’s not claiming to have sweet-talked lasses out of jumping to their death or badgering the colour chart-compilers at Dulux to rename Hot Paprika 5 in his honour, Phil Brown manages Hull City FC. On Saturday, they failed to add to their tally of three wins in 31 league games by drawing 0-0 with fellow bottom-feeders Portsmouth in a spectacle so staggeringly tedious that it’s surprising all 23,720 who paid money to watch it didn’t fill their pockets with rocks at full-time and head straight for the Humber Bridge.
One player who was spared from participating was Hull’s 19-year-old USA! USA! USA! striker Jozy Altidore, who was dropped from the bench for arriving late Authentic Prada Gauffre Bag and is now facing Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada Messenger Bag a fine for having the audacity to apologise for his tardiness on Twitter. “Apologize to all of you. I showed up late. Made a big mistake I’m very very sorry,” tweeted dozy Jozy, prompting his manager to go off on one for reasons best known to himself. “It’s going to cost him a lot of money related site, unfortunately,” harrumphed Brown into the mouthpiece of his Bluetooth headset. “That, for me, is information that stays in-house. The reason he wasn’t on the bench was our business.”
A famously private individual who is notorious for shunning the limelight, Brown knows better than most the folly of showing one’s feelings in front of thousands of complete strangers. On Boxing Day last year, he triggered his side’s ongoing slump with a famously ill-advised half-time rollocking in front of 45,196 people. Not too long after that, he appeared to break down during a BBC Radio interview while criticising Cesc Fbregas for wearing clothes. But even though the congregation at the ground Brown has dubbed “my church” raucously accused him of not knowing what he’s doing on Saturday, the man himself insists that nothing could be further from the truth.
“I confidently go to the next game knowing that I do know what I’m doing,” he countered,tapping the letters B-U-R-N-L-E-Y into his sat nav. “Again it’s testimony to how far we’ve come. They’re booing a clean sheet in the Premier League.” At best Brown is trying to spin his way out of trouble, at worst (and as seems increasingly apparent) he’s completely deluded. Unless he shapes up or is shipped out pretty soon, a potential jumper won’t be the only thing he coaxes down this season.
*********************
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: the ritual bovine slaughters in South Africa next summer to ensure a ‘fantastic atmosphere’ (Friday’s Bits and Bobs). Does this ‘fantastic atmosphere’ include the braying of the vuvuzelas or will it prevent their use? Or is it that the Authentic Prada Vitello Daino vuvuzelas are actually intended to mimic the sound of an animal being slaughtered? If so, job well done” – Jim Downey.
“I’m glad India didn’t qualify for the World Cup; given the bovine sacrifices, we would have boycotted it anyway. Although, to the Indian team’s credit, they have resolved the whole not having any shoes issue” – Nikhil Lalwani.
“Ciao Cinquetta, Paul Glynn’s translation of ‘afternoon tea’ (Friday’s letters) from Massimo Cecchini’s Italian quote meant he missed the tea-timely email’s terrible attempt at a foreign language pun: ‘te delle cinque’ means ‘five o’clock tea’ in English. For the record, ‘afternoon tea’ in Italian is ‘te del pomeriggio'” – Massimo Valeri.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also Tweet the Fiver now.
*********************
BITS AND BOBS
A court has heard how Wigan striker Marlon King allegedly groped a young woman, shouted “Don’t you know who I am, I’m a millionaire” before “smashing her in the face with a clenched fist” when she rejected his advances in a trendy London nightspot. King denies $exual assault by touching and causing actual bodily harm.
Three Blackeye Rovers players, including David Dunn and Christopher Samba, plus two backroom staff have been diagnosed with swine flu. “It’s a highly contagious strain as everybody knows, but I can’t comment any further than that,” said Sam Allardyce, no doubt cheering tomorrow night’s Carling Cup opponents, Peterborough.
Robinho is doing his best to cool links with a move to Barcelona … by talking up how much he’d like to play at Camp Nou. “I’m very happy about the interest that [they] have in me,” he Black Prada Bag With Gold Hardware cooed. “It is much easier to be the best player in the world than at City. But I’m not forcing a hypothetical exit from England and neither do I have problems with my coach.”
Walter Smith has blamed financial uncertainty at the Pope’s O’Rangers for their recent poor form. “Every member of the squad is up for sale,” he declared. “If anyone thinks that has a motivational effect on players they live in a different world from me.”
Exactly 12 months to the day since his exit from Spurs and just 46 days since Amazon Uk Prada Shoes arriving in Moscow, Juande Ramos has had his CSKA contract terminated. “Juande Ramos thus ends his adventure in the Russian League,” bugled www.juanderamos.com.
Gordon Strachan has been officially unveiled as Middlesbrough’s new manager.
Hans Backe, Sven’s former assistant at Manchester City, claims he’s in line to take charge at Notts County.
And yesterday’s game between Guadalajara and America in the Mexican league became the first ever to be shown in 3D at local cinemas. “I’d already seen films in this format, but watch a football match, never, and I don’t regret it because it’s much more exciting,” drooled fan Claudia Fernandez.
*********************
ADVERT
Liverpool are back in Authentic Prada Messenger Bag For Sale to 10-1 to win the title after beating Manchester United, but Chelsea have regained favouritism Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada Online Shopping after they thumped Blackeye Rovers. The Blues are now 13-10 to end the season as champions. Manchester City let a two-goal lead slip at home against Fulham but they remain 1-2 favourites to be the top side outside the Big Four. Too short a price? Well how about Aston Villa at 11-2 or even Stoke at 66-1? Gordon Strachan has taken charge at Middlesbrough and you can back them at 11-2 to win the Championship. Join us here at Sportingbet and get up to 200 in free bets.
*********************
STILL WANT MORE?
The Football Weekly team return to discuss all things Liverpool, Championship and double-barrelled flare gun.
Rob Smyth offers the five things he learned from the Premier League this past weekend.
Nine coaches in just 24 hours? Only at Atltico Madrid, writes Sid Lowe.
Paolo Bandini explains Bicester Village Prada Opening why the only greater shock than Milan winning at Chievo was the Brazilian keeper who helped pull it off.
And even the ball-boys are taking pot-shots at poor Jens Lehmann now, reports Raphael Honigstein.
*********************
HAVING A CHEEKY 33-1 ON LLOYD. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE FEMALE VOTE, NO MATTER HOW GREAT THE TALENT VACUUM